lakebandit:

Pure Class

People say civilization has moved beyond myths and fables. To which I say: false. Take, for instance, the myth of the Welfare Queen. She has seven kids by four different fathers (all of whom are in prison). She’s a high school dropout who doesn’t work and somehow games the system so that she receives welfare and food stamps and mysteriously has enough money for an Escalade (with rims!), designer jeans, and a plasma-screen TV.

And just like mythical creatures, everyone knows someone who’s heard of a friend who TOTALLY SAW a Welfare Queen like that at the grocery store once. Her kids were running wild (because she has no parenting skills) and she was in the checkout line throwing a diva fit because her food stamps didn’t cover a carton of Marlboro Lights. She bought ten steaks and fifteen bags of cheetos and loaded them up in her recently-detailed car, gave the entire parking lot the finger and drove off to her luxurious rent-controlled government-assisted housing.

In fact, there’s a whole lexicon of marginalized people that the Right reinvents and then demonizes. The anchor-baby-dropping Mexican woman. The predatory gay elementary school teacher. The militant liberal college professor urging her students to reject The American Way of Life. The mystery sluts who get (taxpayer-funded!) abortions every month because they’re too lazy to use a condom. The man-hating feminists who believe ALL men should be castrated.

The Right has a veritable pantheon of mythical figures. Their rogue’s gallery is way better than most comic book heroes.

Cookies for anyone who draws one of the Republican Mythical Creatures for me!